Tea Induced Poinsettia Story
by makeshiftdraco
Summary: An illustrious story of sex, holiday greenery, not so internal monologues, sex, gay, gay, gay, sex, gay sex, and attempted murder...did I mention the gay sex?


"You're giving me a plant," said Harry. "For Christmas?"

"For Yule actually," Draco replied. "Cause I rock like that."

He grinned as the Gryffindor eyed him in confusion.

"It's a poinsettia," Draco told the other boy cheerfully.

"I can see that…" mumbled Harry. He gave the Slytherin an intrigued look. "This wouldn't have anything to do with last Thursday, would it?'

Draco feigned ignorance. "Thursday?"

"When we kissed," said Harry.

"Oh, that," Draco laughed. He waved a hand jauntily. "No, just a gift. Certainly not a plot to kill you thereby destroying any homosexual temptation you may present to me."

Harry blinked. "Okay…"

The Slytherin smiled. "Go ahead."

"Ahead?"

"Eat it."

Harry blushed. "Right now, Draco? That's hardly appropriate."

"The poinsettia," snapped Draco.

Harry was beginning to get concerned about the blonde's sanity.

"Eat it!" Draco shrieked.

"Erm…okay." Harry bent over and plucked off a leaf delicately.

The Slytherin watched intently as he placed it between his lips and began to chew.

"It's erm…delicious?"

Draco cackled. "Any fool knows that poinsettias are poisonous! You have sealed your doom!"

Harry stared at him. "It's artificial," he said.

Draco blinked. "Damn." He grabbed a plastic stem in disappointment.

Harry scowled at him. "I can't believe it. You're _actually_ trying to kill me, so you won't want to be gay!"

Draco ignored him. "Note to self: Stop doing internal monologues out loud." He paused. "I'm doing one right now for instance. Very strange."

Harry stood and glared. "Stop ignoring me! I'm pissed off!"

Draco continued to mumble to himself. "Perhaps I should have tried to rattlesnake boxers after all…"

Harry had had enough. "Of all the rotten, evil, conniving, despica…" He trailed off as the blonde turned around, giving him a seductive smile.

The Gryffindor paled. "Now, Draco, I—"

He stopped, completely forgetting what exactly the fuss had been about.

"Oh Harry," Draco purred.

Harry pulled the other boy into his arms who moaned as Harry kissed his collar bone.

In his right hand, Draco held a knife, poised to strike the Gryffindor at any moment.

Harry shoved him away roughly.

"Draco!"

"What?"

Both boys eyed the blade in Draco's hand.

"You were going to stab me!"

Draco faltered. "I thought you were into that shit."

Harry glowered. "Maybe a little biting or something, but shoving a knife into my spine is a bit much!"

"Actually, I was aiming for your kidney," Draco said. He grimaced. "Damnit! _Internal_ monologue! Internal!"

Harry headed for the door. "I was stupid to come here."

Draco panicked. "No, wait! I'll take off my pants!"

Harry paused. "You'll what?"

Draco stared at him, pants already at his ankles.

"What are you doing?" Harry asked.

"No?" said the Slytherin. "Alright then." He returned his pants to their normal position.

Harry frowned and continued toward the door. "It's locked," he muttered.

"Oh yes," said Draco whimsically. "I forgot to mention that."

"Why on earth did you lock the door?"

Draco shrugged. "I don't know," he said. "I assumed we would be having hot sex right about now. At least…that's how it goes in most fics…"

"What's that?"

"I merely wished to take the proper precautions."

Harry jiggled the knob.

"Yes, that'll work splendidly," said Draco.

"You've locked me in here, so you can kill me," Harry said accusatorily.

Draco looked shocked. "No!"

"You want to murder me," Harry cried.

"I want no such thing!" replied the Slytherin.

"You tried to stab and poison me within the last 5 minutes!"

Draco scoffed. "Hey, I took off my pants too!"

"Your thighs do not make up for attempted murder!"

He gasped in horror. "Oh yes, they do! Take it back!"

Harry relented. "Fine, I admit they are pretty awesome, but you did try to kill me."

"I know," mused Draco, lighting a fag. "Was it as good for you as it was for me?"

Harry pulled his sleeve away. "And now, you've lit me on fire! Crazed maniac!"

Draco sulked. "You're no fun."

They stared at the floor awkwardly.

"So…" said Harry. "Should we just fuck already?"

"Alright," Draco said.

And so they did.


End file.
